Title: I Want to Grow Old and Disgusting With You
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Warnings: Real person fiction, Chad Michael Murray, someecards.
Word Count: ~4,000 words
Summary: College AU! Jensen is shifty, Jared is confused, and Jigglypuff is a badass.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
Jared doesn't really think that Jensen and Chad will actually fight each other, but it's good that if they do, Jared will be there to sell tickets, and separate them before anyone actually gets killed. He's not really sure how James Marsters will fit in to this equation, because he doesn't really know James Marsters, although Jensen does. Still, it doesn't seem like Jensen has any idea how the dynamic is going to work either.
"See, James and I have never actually been sober in the same place at the same time," explains Jensen. He's trying to cook, wearing his glasses and just his pajama pants as he rummages around the kitchen for eggs. Jensen believes that all you really have to do with eggs is throw them onto some kind of heat and then poke at them until they're not runny, and whatever he turns out isn't exactly high cuisine, but Jared is happy to eat it anyway. Jensen has this same attitude toward all food, actually, and it's probably good Jared's not picky. "So I don't know how we get along."
"How is it when you're both drunk?" asks Jared, definitely not checking out Jensen's ass as he bends down to get the frying pan.
"Dude, we're both drunk. We think we're best friends. One time he gave me permission to marry his sister."
"Is she hot?"
"I don't know."
"Should I be jealous?"
"Totally. I'm going to dump you and run away with James Marsters' sister."
"You heartless bitch."
"I prefer gold-digging skank."
Jensen grins over his shoulder as he stirs the eggs, and Jared knows he smiles back love-sick and stupid.
They've got another week of alone time before Chad and James move in. Chris and Steve moved in with Dave at the beginning of August, and it's been a little strange since then. Not bad, just...for all the time Jared spent with Jensen last year, he really hadn't lived with him, and had never lived in an actual apartment with bills and the cost of food, and the first couple weeks were a balancing act of figuring out who emptied the dishwasher and what would make Jensen try to kill him. They'd had fights, like actual fights, about tiny things like where Jared left his shoes, and it occurred to Jared that this was what it was like, actually living with someone.
"Me and Chris nearly killed each other the first month we lived together," Jensen told him after their first fight. "He kept playing guitar while I was trying to study and I nearly strangled him with the strings."
"So what happened?"
"I moved my desk to my room and he moved his guitar to his and just brought it to the living room when I wasn't working. Also, I punched Steve."
"Why did you punch Steve if you were fighting with Chris?"
Jensen waved his hand. "It made sense at the time. Point is, it gets better. The whole cohabitation thing."
Jared snorted. "Dude, I live with Chad."
Jensen laughed, and Jared smiled, and they were better, mostly. Really, Jared never thought he wouldn't be able to live with Jensen, because Jensen's so worth it that Jared would be willing to change every one of his living habits, and do the dishes every night. Which he luckily doesn't have to, because it turns out wet dishes are slippery and he broke three plates before Jensen told him he could empty the dishwasher instead.
So by now, they're actually doing pretty well. It's not perfect, but they're adjusting, and Jared is kind of sad that Chad is showing up, even though he (shockingly) misses Chad, because it's nice with just him and Jensen, and they can have sex on the couch when they want to, and that's going to suck to lose.
Jensen drops a plate of egg stuff in front of Jared and smiles nervously, like he thinks this morning will be the one when Jared suddenly realizes he hates Jensen's egg stuff.
Jared smiles back and thinks, not for the first time, that he could really do this for a while. It screws his stomach up, the way he wants Jensen, the way he can't really see ever letting him go, and he mostly tries to avoid thinking about it. It feels big and scary and strange, and Jared's kind of about living in the now.
The now being knocking his shoulder against Jensen's as they eat egg stuff, joking about pranks they'll be able to pull on Chad, and just being, and Jared doesn't really need a lot more than that.
Sophomore year is a lot like freshman year, only Jared feels less small and confused. Not that Jared can ever feel very small, but still. It's the principle of the thing. Now he's more familiar with the city, the college, and he's feeling pretty good.
Chad and James are drunk and/or high and/or stoned most of the time, but it's not like Chris and Steve were the most sober people, so he thinks Jensen doesn't mind that much.
Of course, even if it did, Jensen might not mention it. Jared's weirdly aware these days of how much Jensen's willing to do for him, because driving eighteen hours in the middle of summer to meet Jared's hostile parents? That's above and beyond.
Jared wants to be above and beyond too, which is why he ends up heading over to meet Jensen after his class gets out, even though it's the opposite direction of anywhere Jared needs to be, so they can get lunch or something.
Jensen's talking to a girl as he comes out of class, and he's laughing a little, and the girl is very pretty and clearly into Jensen, and Jared was always kind of hoping this wouldn't happen, because he knows he's kind of possessive and he's probably going to make an idiot of himself in about five seconds.
Then the girl smiles and puts her arm on Jensen's arm, and Jared can see Jensen freezing. It's pretty clear from a distance what's happening--the girl made a move, and Jensen is quietly panicking.
So Jared goes over and, as casually as he can, drapes his arm around Jensen's shoulders. Jensen actually jumps, which would be hilarious if he didn't look so awkward and the girl didn't look so unhappy, and Jared really needs to salvage this conversation somehow.
"Hey, Jensen, I was thinking Mexi...oh, uh, sorry." He does his best to pretend he didn't know there was a conversation happening, smiling up at the girl bashfully from behind his bangs. "I didn't mean to interrupt."
"Oh, no, that's fine, I was just..." the girl stammers, looking uncomfortable.
"No, no, um," says Jensen. "Danneel, this is my boyfriend, Jared. Jared, Danneel's in my class."
Jared can't tell if Danneel is more or less uncomfortable after this, but she does smile at him. "Oh. Nice to meet you, Jared."
"Nice to meet you too," says Jared, flashing her his brightest, nicest smile. It's not her fault she thinks Jensen's hot. It's Jensen's fault, for being hot. "We were just going to go to lunch, if you wanted to come or anything."
She shakes her head. "No, I've got another class in like twenty minutes. But...I'll see you next week, Jensen."
"See you," says Jensen, smiling shyly. Jared wants to make fun of him, but he thinks he should wait til Danneel leaves. He doesn't really want to make her feel any more awkward.
Danneel wanders off and Jensen slams his head lightly against Jared's chest. "I hate that."
Jared pats his head. "Poor baby. It must be hard, being so sexy."
"Yeah, you couldn't possibly understand," agrees Jensen. "Is it better to say 'I'm gay' or 'I have a boyfriend'? Which one sucks less?"
"Doesn't saying you've got a boyfriend cover the gay?" asks Jared.
"Dude, you're the bi one. What if she thinks I'm bi and asks me out again when I'm single?"
Jensen's still leaning against him, so when Jared stiffens at that, he knows Jensen feels it.
"Dude, I didn't mean..." says Jensen, pulling back. "Do I have to send you an e-card saying I'm not breaking up with you?"
Jared laughs, a little shakily.
"Cuz I'm not breaking up with you. I'm kind of stupid in love with you," he says, looking away.
Jensen doesn't say he's in love with Jared a lot, which Jared doesn't mind. He knows it, and Jensen knows it, so they don't have to do tons of talking about it. But Jared appreciates it right now, so he leans down and kisses Jensen hard, and if Danneel is still around? She knows Jensen is really fucking taken.
So Jared is happy, and he's not at all worried when Jensen starts acting weird.
It's not, like, bad weird. At least, Jared doesn't think it's bad weird. They still have sex and sleep in the same bed every night and Jensen teases him and shoves him and kisses him breathless, so there can't be a problem.
But Jensen, well. Jensen is being shifty. It's kind of adorable, really, like Jensen doesn't actually know anything about stealth and read a description of what shady characters look like in a detective novel. His eyes dart, he sweats, he stutters. If it wasn't so weird, it would be awesome. He wanders off sometimes too, making vague excuses, and he could be having an affair from the way he's acting, except that he's Jensen. And Jensen wouldn't.
Normally, when Jared has relationship questions, he goes to Sandy, because she insists it's part of her duty as a fag hag. But this isn't really a relationship question--the relationship is fine. It's a Jensen question.
For that, he goes to Tom.
"Jensen's acting shifty?" asks Tom. They're both a little drunk, and Jensen is in the other room explaining to Chris and Mike and Chris's friend Aldis why Jigglypuff is the most amazing Smash Brothers character ever, bar none. Jared would be listening, because that shit is hilarious, but he's heard it before and he needs to talk to Tom.
"Yeah, like...in his eyes, man."
"Jensen has shifty eyes?"
"Totally shifty. Like a...shifty fox. Or a rat. One of those criminal animals."
"Jensen is a criminal animal?"
Tom is possibly more drunk than Jared. It's hard to tell. But he's not being helpful. "Focus, Tom," says Jared, snapping his fingers. Then he snaps them a few more times, because his hands are tingly and the snapping is kind of cool.
Tom snorts. "You focus."
"Oh right! Shifty Jensen! Why?"
Tom waves his hand. "I dunno. Shifty is a Jared thing."
"No, no," says Jared. "Jensen's shifty. Not me. We're talking about Jensen." Jared considers this, grins. "Jensen is my boyfriend." That's awesome.
"Yeah, Jensen's shifty cuz of you," says Tom. "Never got shifty before you. It's cuz he's your boyfriend. Never had a boyfriend before you."
Jared knows all that, but he still likes hearing Tom say it, likes being reminded that before him, Jensen never cared enough to date anyone. But it's not helpful right now. Because Jensen is still shifty. "So it's me?"
"It's you," Tom agrees.
"Y're supposed to help," Jared points out. "I helped you with Mike."
"I'm gonna get chlamydia," says Tom, sounding sort of proud.
"Right now?" asks Jared.
"No," says Tom. "But some day."
"Okay," says Jared. As long as he doesn't have to be there when Tom gets chlamydia, he doesn't really care.
"You're shifty," says Jared, to Jensen's neck once they're back in their room. Jensen's neck is kind of sweaty and a little gross, but Jared loves it anyway. He licks it, to make sure it knows it too. He wouldn't want Jensen's neck to feel unappreciated.
"You're drunk," says Jensen, laughing.
"So're you. You were talking about Jigglypuff."
"Yeah, and then I stopped drinking, and you did shots of tequila with Kane and Hodge. Which, really smart idea."
"Puff!" says Jared. "Jigglypuff!"
"Jesus Christ," says Jensen. "Are you actually making Pokemon noises?"
Jared snickers. He wants to say Jensen's the one who started talking about Pokemon, but Jensen looks really hot and Jared's head is spinning a little, so instead he goes, "Pi ka CHUUUUUUU!" and tackles Jensen on to the bed.
"Holy shit you're a freak," says Jensen.
Jared snorts and nuzzles him. "You love it."
It turns out James is a pretty decent guy when he's sober, which is usually weekdays between noon and six, and weekends when he has a lot of homework. Chad seems really personally offended by this for reasons that Jared doesn't understand, but Chad's insane, so he doesn't let it bother him too much.
"Is Jensen all right?" James asks at two on a Wednesday, which means he should be sober.
"What would be wrong with him?" Jared asks, mostly to test the sober theory. If James says something about Jensen being, like, an elephant, then he's probably high.
"He's acting weird," says James. "Very shifty."
"That's what I said!" says Jared.
"So what's wrong with him?"
"I don't know," Jared admits.
"Oh," says James, and that sounds really bad to Jared.
"Yeah," Jared mumbles, letting it go.
"You know, here's a really drastic suggestion," says Sandy, throwing a piece of muffin in Jared's face. "Ask him."
Jared snorts. "I never thought of that."
"The sad thing is, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."
Jared scowls. "Sarcastic. I can't just ask!"
"Because he'll know I'm an insecure freak!"
"Have you met Jensen? Wait, scratch that," says Sandy. "Have you met Jensen around you?"
"He's not insecure, he's spastic," Jared says. "It's different."
"I'm not saying he's insecure. I'm saying I don't care how shifty he is, Jensen basically wants to make you happy, all the time, 24/7. So if something's bothering you? He wants to make it better."
Jared rests his forehead on the table. "I know."
"So if you ask him, he'll tell you."
"I know," Jared repeats. "But I kind of just want him to tell me on his own."
Sandy pats him on the arm consolingly. "You're kind of an idiot."
"Tell me something I don't know."
"When it's nothing bad and it turns out you're retarded, can I make fun of you?"
"Get in line."
"Hey, uh," says Jensen on Saturday, with fucking full-on shifty eyes. This has been going for, like, two weeks, and Jared is getting sick of it. "You're not busy tonight, right?"
"I have a hot date with this guy from my English lit class," says Jared. "I think I might get lucky."
Jensen shoves his shoulder. "Jerk. I'm serious."
"Then, no, Jensen. Like every other Saturday for the last year, I'm hanging out with you."
Jensen makes this weird choked noise at that, which...what the hell. But he recovers. "I thought we could get dinner."
"Like, going out?" asks Jared.
Jensen nods vigorously, but still somehow shifty.
"Yeah, sounds good."
Then Jensen grins, and it's like nothing Jared can even describe, he looks so happy and relieved. Jared really wants to just kiss him, but Jensen starts talking instead. "I've got some stuff to do, but I'll be back by six to get you?"
"Sure," he says, kind of dazed. Jensen nods, almost like he's reassuring himself, and turns to leave. Jared grabs his arm before he can get far. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," says Jensen, smiling again. "Everything's great. I'll see you later?"
"Yeah," Jared agrees.
Jensen wanders off, and Jared's left trying to figure out what exactly is happening. He tools around the apartment for a while, until Chad tells him he's acting like a giant toolish girl and tells him to do something meaningful with his anniversary.
"My what?" asks Jared.
"Your anniversary," repeats Chad.
Jared yanks out his cellphone and sees the date blinking.
On the year anniversary of their first hookup, Jared insisted on blowing Jensen, and Jensen laughed and told him he was a freak, and pointed out that Jared blew him fairly regularly, so Jared could have at least bought flowers.
"Or maybe I should have bought you flowers, since you're clearly a girl," Jensen said, and Jared socked him in the shoulder, and life went on.
After that, Jared had decided that he was going to ignore anniversaries, because they weren't that big a deal, really. He knows, somewhere in him, when they had their first date, when Jensen said he loved Jared for the first time, when they first had real actual sex, all that stuff. But he doesn't let himself think about it. Coming in to the school year, he knew their anniversary was coming and stubbornly filed the information away as useless.
And somehow, during the last two weeks of Jensen being increasingly shifty, he's never put things together.
Revelations are all well and good, but Jared has more pressing things to attend to right now. "Chad," he says, "why do you know my anniversary?"
Chad doesn't say anything.
"You loooooooooove me," says Jared, and gives Chad a giant hug, just to be a dick.
"God get off of me I fucking hate you," says Chad.
"That's why you know my anniversary."
"Dude, I'm just really good with dates!"
"Loooooooove me," says Jared, and then lets go. "I'll be back later," he says.
Jared's never actually had an anniversary before, with anyone. The longest he ever dated a girl in high school was Maxine Rivers, and that lasted for about eight months before they went their separate ways. Or didn't, since it was high school and they still had three classes together every day, but whatever. The point is, Jared doesn't really know what he's supposed to do. Does he buy Jensen something? What does he buy? Jared knows a lot of things Jensen likes, but somehow a six-pack of PBR doesn't exactly seem to cover his feelings for Jensen adequately. Christmas had been tough enough, and Jared knows he can't get away with buying Jensen lube again. They've got plenty.
So he settles for wandering around looking in store windows, feeling stupid and overwhelmed, wondering what the clerks would say if he went in and said, "Hi, I'm looking for an anniversary gift for my boyfriend that won't make him laugh at me." He wants something perfect and amazing, but his phone alarm rings at five to warn him he needs to get home and stress out about his outfit, so he grabs a flask that he was looking at mostly as a joke.
He doesn't know if he should wrap it, or even if he should give it to Jensen, because who gets a flask with a heart on it as an anniversary present? Jared wishes Chad had never mentioned the anniversary thing because then Jared would be blissfully ignorant and not a retarded ball of stress.
He puts on his nice jeans and the button-down shirt that must be Jensen's favorite, given the way Jensen touches him even more than usual whenever he wears it. And then he puts the flask in kind of a nice bag and prints off an e-card to put on the package. If Jensen didn't remember that it's their anniversary and it's just a coincidence, this way Jared can make it look like a joke gift, or something.
Maybe he should do a shot.
He's rummaging around their room for a shot glass, figuring that if even he doesn't end up drinking, at least he's got something to do with his hands, when he hears a soft snort from the door.
Jensen's leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed over his chest, looking amazing and hot and like everything Jared has ever wanted.
"Hi," Jared breathes. "I was just...never mind. Hi."
"Dinner?" asks Jensen. He looks looser, somehow, less uptight and shifty, and Jared wonders what happened in the last four hours to calm him down.
"Yeah, dinner is. Yeah, let's go. Um..." Jared looks at the bag, picks it up. "I got you this."
Jensen raises his eyebrow and Jared flushes. "You got me a present?"
"God, it's stupid, I'll just--" Jared tries to drop it, but Jensen crosses the room and catches his arm.
"Jesus, I thought I was nervous," murmurs Jensen. "What the hell happened to you while I was gone."
"Chad," admits Jared.
"Chad made you get me a present."
"Chad told me it was our anniversary."
Jensen looks shocked. "Chad knows our anniversary?"
"You didn't know it was our anniversary?" asks Jensen, quieter, and Jared feels like shit.
"I knew," he says. "I just...didn't think you were into it. So I was trying to forget about it."
"You're into it," says Jensen, like that explains everything. Which, Jared realizes, it does for Jensen.
Jared laughs, shaking his head. "Okay, so I'm kind of an idiot."
Jensen takes the bag with his left hand and Jared's hand with his right. "Nah, you're really not."
Jared lets himself be tugged, ducks his head to keep from grinning a little. He's got the best boyfriend ever. "Where are we going, anyway?"
"Somewhere special," says Jensen vaguely.
"Don't hold out on me, dude."
"If I tell you, it's not a surprise."
"This is why you've been shifty for the last two weeks, right?"
Jensen immediately looks shifty again. "I wasn't being shifty."
Jared snorts. "Even James noticed."
"I just wanted it to be special," says Jensen finally.
Jared gets in the car and smiles affectionately. "Tool."
"See if I ever do anything nice for you again," Jensen replies happily, giving him the finger.
They're relaxed in the car, Jared's freak out averted and Jensen apparently without any reason to be shifty now that Jared knows what's up. But the ride is longer than expected, and Jared can't help asking again, "Seriously, where are we going?"
The shiftiness immediately returns. "You'll see."
"You're really in to this surprise thing."
"That's how you're supposed to do it," Jensen replies simply.
Jared just shakes his head as they turn down a street he suddenly recognizes. "Isn't this Chris and Steve's street?"
Jensen looks shifty, which is all the reply Jared needs to know he's right.
"We're going to Chris and Steve's?" he asks. He's not angry, just confused.
"Just trust me, okay?" says Jensen, his voice tight.
"I trust you," replies Jared, realizing Jensen might not have gotten the confusion. "This is already my best anniversary ever."
Jensen pulls into Chris and Steve's. Their apartment is dark, and Jared has no idea what's happening.
"So," says Jensen at the door, "wait here for, like, five minutes?"
"Fine. But if it gets to be ten, I'm hotwiring your car, bitch."
Jensen waves his hand and disappears into the darkness. Jared tries to figure out what could possibly be in the apartment. He's hoping it's a pony. They could have fun with a pony. It could live in Chad's room and crap on his bed.
"Okay," says Jensen, opening the door but not letting Jared in yet. "Just for the record? I don't actually think you're a girl. I just...I didn't know what to do, so I did this."
It's a table. Covered in food. Jared's favorite foods, even, and it all looks home-cooked and real and like it wasn't just dropped on the stove until it seemed done.
"You made this?"
"Yeah," says Jensen, rubbing his neck. "Nearly blew up the stove trying to get it right. I thought Dave was gonna kill me."
Jared's kind of poking around the table, looking on in awe. "You used recipes."
Jensen snorts. "Yeah, I can read, you know."
"Seriously," says Jared, grinning, "this is unbelievably awesome."
Jensen blushes. "Figured with how you eat, I couldn't afford a classy restaurant anyway."
"Are you calling me fat?"
"I'm calling you jolly."
"Thought we'd eat first."
Jared sighs. "If we have to."
After they finish eating and Jared's praised Jensen's cooking about a billion times, Jensen explains that he bribed Chris and Steve and Dave to not only vacate their apartment, but also to clean up for him, and Jared is pretty sure that can't actually be cheaper than a restaurant, but he doesn't mind.
"So if you want we can catch a movie, or just go home, or..."
"Home," says Jared decisively. Jensen deserves a lot of reward sex for this, and Jared's just the man to give it to him.
Jensen grins. "Thanks for the flask, by the way."
Jared ducks his head. "It's stupid, sorry."
"Nah, I like it," says Jensen. "It'll get me through those long, boring TA sessions."
Jared laughs. "Thanks for...you know. Everything, I guess."
"Sap," says Jensen. "You can make it up to me next year."
"Next year?" asks Jared.
"Yeah. I did this anniversary, so you're up for the next one."
Jared looks over in surprise at that, and Jensen smiles back like he knows exactly what he said, and what it means, and Jared can't help grinning. "I'm thinking beer and porno."
"God, you think I'm such a cheap date."
"Hey, I'd put out for beer and porno."
Jensen smirks. "You put out for me."
There's really no point in denying that one. "Hell yeah I do."
Jensen swallows and speeds up a little.
Jared can't wait for next year.
Followed by I'm Still Your Friend Even Though You Dumped One of Mine.