Current mood:	good
Entry tags:	fanfic, i guess i need an rps tag, supernatural, that's a sexy image, um

Later, I will have some fic from the world's tiniest fandom, a.k.a. The Invention of Love college AU. But for now!

Title: Gag Reel
Author: Chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Real person fiction, various mentions of Wincest.
Spoilers: 401!
Word Count: ~2,000 words
Summary: Jared just wants a good gag reel, really. It's not his fault he gets kind of carried away with it.
Notes: Thanks to inarticulate for listening to me spaz and reassuring me :|d
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.


It's not that Jared's mind takes a while to catch up with his body. No, the bigger problem is that Jared's mind takes a while to catch up with itself. And that always pretty much leads down disastrous roads.

This time, what happens is this:

First, Jared thinks that a really sappy kiss during the whole Winchester reunion scene would be a pretty hilarious blooper. It's kind of a passing thought, and one which, with any consideration, would prove to be beyond a bad idea. But Jared doesn't give it any actual consideration. He just goes with it. They've done, like, twenty takes of this because Kim isn't happy with Genevieve's delivery on her punchline, so he's a little loopy. It's kind of understandable.

That idea, the kissing alone, would be bad enough, except that as Jensen's pulling away from the hug, Jared suddenly doesn't want to let him go, and that must be Sam, right there. After all, Sam hasn't seen Dean in months, missed him like he couldn't breathe, so of course, Sam wouldn't want to let go of Dean. And that kind of melds together in Jared's eyes with the initial sappy, sloppy kissing idea, and they mutate horribly, and Jared thinks that's not how it would be.

So by the time his actual smart, logical, reasonable brain turns on, Jared's got his hands fisted in Jensen's shirt and his tongue in Jensen's mouth, and they're kissing like they're going to die if they don't.

The first rational thing it thinks is: Huh, Jensen's kissing back.

And the way Jensen's kissing back, it's Dean kissing, all needy and scared and living for the moment, not sure what's happening but taking advantage of it. Jensen's hands come up and clutch Jared's face, so Jared couldn't even move if he wanted too--Jensen's not the size of a freight train like Jared is, but he's definitely strong enough to keep Jared's face still. They're kissing like they were hugging, less out of affection and more as a confirmation that they're both there, they're together--it's pretty fucked up that Jared can think that, yeah, this is how Dean and Sam would kiss.

Jared's not really sure how the crew is reacting to this, if they're maybe thinking the same thing, because he can't really hear anything outside of him and Jensen, doesn't really know anything outside of him and Jensen. And pretty much all he knows about the two of them is that Jensen-as-Dean is a fucking awesome kisser.

Jensen's the one who pulls away, and Jared doesn't whimper, but he does latch on to Jensen's lower lip with his teeth, which he's sure is the least sexy thing he's ever done that's been caught on camera. It's dorky and weird on levels he doesn't want to contemplate, but then, so is Sam, so maybe it's kind of okay.

He doesn't take his eyes off Jensen, which he tells himself is in character. Sam doesn't know anyone else is in the room right now either. The apocalypse could be happening and he wouldn't know. Jensen is looking back, the same way, and Jared thinks he should be more freaked out that they just totally made out as brothers. But he's mostly glad Jensen stopped when he did, because Jared was getting kind of turned on, and while Sam humping Dean's leg might make a pretty hilarious blooper, it would be pretty awkward when it happened.

"So," says Genevieve, bringing him back, "are the two of you, like, together?"

Jared has to admit, she fucking nails the delivery. Of course, she might actually be curious.

Jensen grins his shit-eating Dean grin and slides his arm around Jared's waist, like they're in on a joke together, like they planned this, instead of Jared temporarily losing his mind and jumping his unsuspecting co-star. "Damn straight, sweetheart," Jensen tells her, and Jared loses it, starts laughing onto Jensen's shoulder. Jensen pats his head consolingly. "Aww, honey, I missed you too."

"Let's try that again," says Kim, in a long-suffering tone. "Jared, keep your tongue to yourself this time."

"My tongue wants to be free," says Jared, from Jensen's shoulder. He licks Jensen's neck to demonstrate.

"Does Sam's tongue?" asks Jensen.

"Spoilsport," mutters Jared, and they try the scene again.

*

The problem with living with Jensen is that now, when Jared does something colossally stupid like kissing Jensen in the middle of a take, he doesn't get to go home and sort through his feelings alone. Well, he does for a little while, because Jensen is shooting later than him.

He figures out these things before Jensen gets home:
1. Kissing Jensen was pretty awesome.
2. It was possibly less like kissing Jensen and more like kissing Dean.
3. It was kind of freaky incest kissing, which is freaky.
4. It was still pretty awesome.

"So, tell me," is what Jensen says when he comes home to find Jared sitting on the couch, staring at the coffee table, "has the coffee table started talking back yet? Does it tell you to burn things?"

"It tells me to punch you."

"I'd ask if it told you to kiss me, but I figured you just got into the erotic fan fiction over hiatus. It's sweet you missed me so much."

Jared gives him the finger. Jensen is not intimidated and sits down next to him.

"So is this your big gay freakout?"

"It was a joke."

"Oh, yeah, I know," says Jensen, leaning back. "And don't worry, one joke kiss totally doesn't make you gay."

"I feel so relieved."

"That whole lip-biting thing at the end, though? That was bi-curious."

Jared punches him in the arm, but weirdly, he feels better.

*

Once Jensen has wandered off to the shower, though, Jared is alone with his thoughts again, which is not actually as helpful as he thought it would be, since mostly he's picturing Jensen naked right now.

It shouldn't be this weird, he doesn't think. Ideally he'd call Chad and ask, but he can't think of a way to phrase the question that doesn't give away what happened. There just aren't a lot of ways to spin "Is it really gay if I kissed my co-star as a joke and liked it?" and make it sound like something else.

Jared does decide that there is nothing inherently gay about kissing Jensen as a joke. He's even done it before--admittedly, no one's tongue was involved before, but quick, smacking kisses on the lips? Those have occasionally happened.

Granted, it's a little fucked up that they were pretending to be brothers at the time, but they're pretty fucked up brothers, so.

"God, I can't believe you're still having a gay freak out," says Jensen, toweling off his hair. Jared doesn't notice that he's shirtless, because he's seen Jensen shirtless a million times, and nothing has changed.

"Your tongue was in my mouth, where's your freak out?" asks Jared.

"I'm bi, you asshole."

Jared is, for the first time since he kissed Jensen, actually incapable of responding.

"And you used way too much fucking tongue, so it wasn't a good enough kiss to get me questioning my sexuality. I would not go gay for that kiss."

"Sam uses too much tongue," says Jared absently. "It's how Sam kisses. What do you mean you're bi?"

Jensen ignores this. "Dude, you kissed me, not Sam."

"I was in-character!"

"So Sam was kissing his brother?"

"It made sense in my head," mutters Jared.

He expects Jensen to make another joke about erotic fan fiction, but he looks pissed and says he's going to bed, and Jared isn't even confused about his sexuality anymore, he's just confused.

*

Jensen occasionally talks about guys. But Jared and Chad do too, in a not-serious way, so he figured Jensen was just being sarcastic. Jensen is sarcastic all the time anyway, so it's hard to tell genuine bisexuality from a willingness to say he'd hook up with Mike to make Jared laugh and punch him.

The idea that Jensen actually might hook up with Mike--maybe even has hooked up with Mike--is pretty upsetting, and not for the normal reasons like that Mike is a disgusting human being. Jared is kind of jealous.

Jared probably should have learned his lesson about thinking things through, but somehow his brain puts together Jensen likes guys with jealousy and awesome kissing and he ends up flopping down next to Jensen on Jensen's bed.

"Dude," says Jensen, actually sounding pissed.

"You're bi? Seriously?"

"It's not a big deal," mutters Jensen.

"So we could be making out right now."

Jensen snorts. "How much lead paint did you eat when you were a kid to get like this? I'm honestly curious."

"What?"

"I'm not making out with you."

"You did before!"

"Yeah, I did. And you didn't."

"What? You can't make out with me alone. I'm involved! I started it!"

"Look, Jared. It's great that you--decided making out in-character would be an awesome joke. I'm happy for you. But," Jensen lets out a weird breath, like he's not sure he wants to be talking at all. "That's not what I was doing. So leave it the fuck alone."

Nothing Jensen is saying is making the world make more sense. Jared's entire brain is pretty much just confused as all hell. "Jensen?"

"Seriously," he says, and his breathing is so ragged Jared's actually worried, in a genuine, non-mocking way.

And then Jared's rational brain comes, late as usual, into the conversation, and he realizes that Jensen was in a pretty good mood until Sam came up.

"Dude," he says, before he can think better of it, "am I getting cock-blocked by Sam Winchester?"

Jensen turns over in bed even farther away from him, like if he doesn't see Jared, he won't exist.

"Because it's not like," Jared sighs. "Seriously. It's not like I wasn't kissing you. Trust me. I was kissing you."

Jensen doesn't say anything, and Jared watches the tense lines of his back. If he's right--if he's right, then it wasn't Dean being needy, it was Jensen, Jensen wanting to kiss Jared, not wanting Jared to get away, and that's kind of the best thing that's happened to Jared in months. Because Jared's maybe doing everything out of order--moving in with Jensen, and then kissing him, and then falling in love with him, but Jared has never really been a fan of logical progressions. Anyway, it's all coming together now, and when Jensen flips over without any warning and kisses Jared again, Jared gives it all he's got, kissing back because he wants to, with absolutely no freaky incest vibes because this is Jensen.

"Still too much tongue," says Jensen when they pull away, but he's grinning and not moving away, so Jared licks his face. "God, you're disgusting."

"I'm going to do this all the time now," says Jared happily.

"What, climb into my bed and molest me?"

"And your trailer. And maybe the Impala."

"Kripke's gonna kill you."

"Kripke's gonna want to marry me. Blooper reel like this? The DVDs are gonna sell themselves."

"Fucking exhibitionist."

"My tongue wants to be free, Jensen."

Jensen sighs, but he's still grinning, and Jared isn't even slightly concerned. "Never should have moved in with you."

"No escape now," Jared agrees smugly.

It's possible that they should talk a little about logistics and feelings, but Jensen has decided to kiss him again, and Jared's rational brain has, as usual, left the building, so Jared decides to just go with it.

That's been working out pretty well so far.

--

Podfic by juice817 can be found here!